


Complicated

by daydreamsonacloudyday



Series: Olivia Hawke [6]
Category: Dragon Age (Video Games), Dragon Age II
Genre: F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-06-06
Updated: 2014-06-06
Packaged: 2018-02-03 16:06:10
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,036
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1750544
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/daydreamsonacloudyday/pseuds/daydreamsonacloudyday
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Anders stays at Olivia’s estate for a night to escape Templars.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Complicated

**Author's Note:**

> This takes place in the beginning of Act 2, very shortly after "Temptation".

"The templars were sniffing around my place yesterday," Anders said in a hushed tone. Olivia froze, lest she accidentally ruin the potions she was working on. "I barely slipped out the back in time." Taking a deep breath to steady herself, she put the ingredients down and looked up, meeting his gaze.

"This is the second time in a week."

"It’s possible I may need somewhere else to go. In the near future," he replied. "I was thinking I could stay at the Hanged Man until—"

"Absolutely not!" Anders quirked an eyebrow at her, and she sighed, trying to calm her raging emotions. The templars hunting Anders was a sure fire way to get her revved up—and nervous. "The Hanged Man is a public place," Olivia continued, explaining herself. "Templars could raid it anytime they want."

"They haven’t yet."

"They will if they hear a mage is staying there."

"Where else can I go?" Anders asked, dejected. 

"You can stay with me," Olivia muttered, nervously tucking her hair behind her ear.

"Liv, I can’t… I couldn’t impose…"

"You’re not imposing, I’m inviting you to stay with us," she said. "I’m sure Mother won’t mind, and it’ll be good for Orana and Bodahn to have someone else to fuss over." She could see him mulling the idea over in that handsome head of his. "Please, Anders. I worry about you down here."

"You’re not going to let me say no, are you?" he asked, a small smile tugging at the corner of his lips.

Olivia grinned at him. “I  _did_  say I would lock you in my cellar if I had to…”

He let out a short laugh and smirked at her. “And I told you I wasn’t letting anyone lock me up, you included.”

She stepped up to him with a sly smile, crossing her arms and raising an eyebrow at him. “You must not know me if you think you’d actually be able to stop me from doing just that.”

"Oh, I know you, sweetheart," he said with a chuckle, moving closer to her. "You’d knock me out and drag me there yourself."

She huffed. “Well, I can’t exactly knock you out if you’re prepared for it.”

"You’re resourceful. I’m sure you would find some way to distract me first."

"Distract you, hmm?" Olivia held his playful gaze, painfully aware of just how close they were. She uncrossed her arms and let them fall to her side, inching forward just the  _tiniest_ bit. “And what exactly would distract you?” she murmured, her gaze darting down to his lips before returning to his eyes.

Anders licked his lips, and  _Maker_ , she just wanted to grab him and kiss him senseless. She held back, not wanting to push him into anything, her heart beating loudly in her ears. He’d been so close to kissing her the other day, and she didn’t want to ruin things now by forcing his hand.

So she waited, his gaze boring into hers, seconds feeling like hours as they passed by. His lips parted, his eyes flitting down to her lips, and she held her breath, yearning to finally taste his kiss again.

But it never happened.

Anders sighed and turned away, running a hand through his hair. Olivia slumped against the table, defeated and frustrated. Did the Maker enjoy taunting her like this? She wouldn’t be able to stand it much longer—three years was long enough.

"We should finish, these potions," he said, not meeting her eyes. She watched him for a moment, wishing he would stop holding back when it came to the two of them. She sighed, returning to work beside him. One day he’d let her in… she hoped.

…

"You don’t have to do this," Anders said eying the front door of her estate warily.

Olivia finished unlocking the door and looked at him over her shoulder, smiling at him. “Yes, I do. I’m not going to let you get caught by templars when you can just stay here for a night or two.” He let out a deep breath, seeming almost anxious.

"Liv—"

"Oh, come on," she said, grabbing his hand and dragging him inside. She pulled him into the main room and watched his eyes widen as he took in its extravagance. "It’s a little excessive, I know, but it’s home. Most importantly, it’s safe." Anders turned his gaze back on her, a small smile gracing his lips.

"You’re home," came her mother’s voice. Olivia looked towards Leandra, who was regarding Anders with a curious expression. Her eyes traveled down to where their hands were still joined, and they both quickly pulled away, embarrassed.

"Mother, you remember Anders," Olivia said, tucking her hair behind her ear.

"Yes, of course." She smiled warmly at him, and Olivia relaxed.

"He’s going to be staying the night."

"I’ll have Bodahn ready up a guest room," she replied. "There’s some leftovers from dinner in the larder if you’re hungry."

"Got it." She started to lead Anders towards the kitchen, when her mother called out for her.

"Yes?" Leandra took her daughter aside, glancing towards their visitor.

"Make sure you feed him well. He looks a bit thin."

Olivia let out a small laugh, smiling. “Trust me, I will.”

Leandra shooed her away, and she took Anders down to the kitchen. She managed to get him to eat quite liberally—after practically shoving the food in his face. Olivia almost didn’t want their late dinner to end. They enjoyed themselves and she liked having him there, in her home. She would take any extra time with him that she could get.

When they finished, she showed him to his room, one of the spare rooms right down the hall from hers.

"Well, if you need anything, just give Bodahn or Orana a call," she said.

"I will," he replied with a nod. Anders went to open the door to his room but stopped, turning his attention back to her. "Thank you, Liv. This… means a lot to me."

"You’re welcome." She smiled at him, resisting the urge to brush back the little flyaway hairs framing his face. "Goodnight, Anders," she said softly.

"Goodnight, Olivia."

She turned and started walking the short distance to her own room, looking back over her shoulder at him one last time. He was standing in his doorway, a smile lighting up his face when he met her gaze. She smiled back before ducking into her room, closing the door behind her and letting out a dreamy sigh.  _Maker_ , he would be the death of her.

Olivia changed into a loose tunic and pants, letting down her hair and quickly running a brush through it before falling into bed. She got comfortable, but for the life of her, she couldn’t fall asleep—thanks to thoughts of a certain blond mage invading her mind.

It wasn’t an unusual occurrence. She often found herself thinking of him when he wasn’t around, but she figured that was what happened when you loved someone. And she  _loved_ him. If anything were to happen to him—no, she couldn’t think about such things. She should think about happier things, like the way he gave all of himself to his patients, never turning anyone away, helping them to the best of his ability. She loved watching him heal, was still fascinated by the way his brow would furrow in concentration, eyes focused on his task. He was always so gentle with his patients, especially the children and the elderly, and it always brought a grin to her face. 

Olivia knew first hand what it was like to be under his care. She would never admit it, but she’d “accidentally” hurt herself on more than one occasion just so she would have an excuse to heal her. The warmth from his magic always sent tingles down her spine, as did the soft touch of his hands when he inspected and cleaned her wounds.  _Sweet blood of Andraste_ , what she would give to feel those hands sliding over her bare skin, touching her in all the right places…

Feeling her cheeks flush, she stopped that line of thinking before she started imagining things that wouldn’t allow her to look at Anders without blushing for a week.

Yes, the damned mage would definitely be the death of her.

She was trying to think about anything but those hands and the wonders they could no doubt elicit when a quiet knock sounded at her door. She scurried out of bed and pattered across her room to answer the door. Anders was there, his hair disheveled and loose, feet bare, and lacking his feathered coat.

"I can’t sleep," he said with a slight shake of his head.

"Are you all right?" Olivia asked, concerned.

"Yes… no." He looked away from her and huffed, running his hand through his hair before pinning her with an intense stare that made her stomach flip. "I can’t stop thinking about you, Liv."

"What?" she breathed, eyes widening in shock.

Anders stepped up closer to her, crossing the threshold into her room. “I can’t sleep because I’m thinking about you,” he said, a little breathlessly. “I’ve been thinking about you for three years and I can’t… I can’t just  _think_  about you anymore.”

Before she had a chance to respond, he closed the distance between them, grabbing either side of her face and pulling her into a kiss. Olivia instantly melted against him, kissing him back, elated and nervous at the same time. He’d  _finally_  given in and she didn’t want him stop and run away again.

Things heated up quickly, and Olivia found herself pushed against the wall next to her door, Anders’ body pressed up against hers. She aimlessly waved her hand out to the side, trying to close the door, but she was too wrapped up Anders to actually get the thing closed… and she didn’t even care.  _He was finally kissing her again_.

He abruptly pulled back, gazing right into her eyes as they both panted, and dread settled in the pit of her stomach. This was it. He was going to leave her again.

"I love you," Anders murmured, pressing his forehead to hers. Olivia gasped, completely taken aback. He loved her?  _Maker’s breath, he loved her!_  The biggest grin spread across her face, her heart swelling with joy.

"Maker, Anders, I love you, too," she said, trying not to  _shout_  it. She’d waited  _so long_  to say those words to him. He let out a breath of relief and smiled before his lips found hers again. 

In a matter of moments, they’d stumbled over to her bed, shedding clothing as they went. Anders laid her down on her back and crawled over her, pressing gentle kisses to her neck. Olivia bit back a moan and threaded her fingers through his hair as he worked his way down lower, his fingers curling around the hem of her smalls. Her chest heaved and her stomach quivered as lips moved down past her navel, anticipation and desire clouding her mind.

She was so distracted that she barely registered the sound of the dog scratching on the door, begging for entry into her room. But hadn’t she been unable to close the door?

Olivia shot her eyes open and jerked upright in her bed, her brows furrowing at the sight before her. Her door  _was_  closed, the dog  _was_  scratching it from outside, and Anders was _not_ with her.  _The entire thing had been a dream._

Resisting the urge to  _scream_ , she let out a frustrated groan and fell back on her bed. She stared up at the canopy, trying to calm herself while the dog scratched away at her door. Leave it to a damn dream to get her all hot and bothered—like the real Anders didn’t  _already_ do that. Not to mention that it was a really  _good_  dream that had ended right before the  _best_ part.

She huffed and got up, angrily stomping over to the door to let the dog in. The mabari excitedly ran into her room and hopped up on the bed, watching her and waiting for her to join him. She shook her head and left, the dog letting out a whine that she ignored as she made her way down to the kitchen for a nice glass of  _cold_  water.

Before she rounded the corner into the room, she heard someone moving around inside and panicked. Bodahn, Orana, and her mother’s doors were all closed, indicating they’d already went to sleep. Olivia conjured up a ball of flame in her hand and burst into the room, ready to attack whoever was actually stupid enough to try and steal from them.

The shadowy figure whirled around, the flames in her hand illuminating his face.

"Damn it, Anders, I thought you were a thief!" she harshly whispered, extinguishing the fire in her hand.

"Sorry," he muttered, and she huffed, starting to light a few candles around the room. When she turned back around to face him, she quirked an eyebrow at the sight before her. He was standing there, fork in hand, with an apple pie on the counter in front of him. His hair was loose and he was also wearing the same thing he had in her dream—before all the clothes came off. But, he wasn’t about to eat  _pie_  in her dream…

Blushing immediately at where her thoughts were going, Olivia cleared her throat and quickly got herself that glass of cold water.

"So, you couldn’t sleep?" she asked before downing the entire thing in one gulp.

"No," Anders replied, eyeing her suspiciously. "Are you all right? You look warm. You might be coming down with something." He moved to inspect her more closely, but she waved him off.

"I’m fine," she said, grappling for an excuse. "Fluffy was sleeping on top of me again. That mabari is like a furnace."

"You let him sleep in your bed?" Anders asked with a grimace, and she nodded. "That’s disgusting."

Olivia let out a short laugh and rolled her eyes. His gaze drifted down to the pie in front of him, though he didn’t move to eat any of it. “Apple pie, huh?”

"If it’s all right?" he said, his eyes landing on hers again, uncertainty in them.

"I said you could have whatever you wanted, and I meant it," she replied with a smile, and he relaxed. "But I’m having some of that, too." Grabbing another fork, she stood next to him, both mages digging into the pie. "I never knew you liked apple pie."

"My mother used to make apple pie," he said quietly. Olivia stopped eating and looked up at him, a sad expression on his face. She reached up and tentatively brushed his hair from his face. He didn’t pull away, thank the Maker, and turned his gaze on her.

"Do you miss her?" she whispered.

"Yes." His brows knit together and he frowned. "I used to wish I had been born without magic, so I would have never been taken from my home."

"You shouldn’t have had to wish that." Olivia lifted her hand and let sparks of electricity dance between her fingertips, a small smile on her lips. "You should be proud of your magic. At least, that’s what my father used to say."

"Your father was right," he replied, conjuring up his own bout of sparks, making her smile even more. "I am proud of my magic… now." 

"I just wish we didn’t have to hide something we’re proud of." She let her magic fade, Anders following suit. "At least I don’t have to hide it with you," she said softly, her eyes meeting his. He stared at her, a smile tugging at the corners of his lips, until he suddenly furrowed his brows and looked away from her.  _Typical_. She went to return to her room, stopping in the doorway when he called out for her.

"Liv, wait!"

She shook her head and turned to face him. “Anders, don’t.” She sighed, not bothering to try and hide the longing in her eyes when she looked at him. “Enjoy the rest of the pie. I’ll see you in the morning.”

She swallowed hard and left him alone, returning to her room and burying herself under a pile of blankets next to Fluffy. She may not have had to hide her magic around him, but she did have to hide her feelings, and it hurt. It hurt a lot.

…

The next morning, things were still tense between the two mages. They didn’t speak until Anders bid her goodbye, an apologetic look on his face. She sighed as she watched him leave, her mother approaching her after he was gone.

"What’s going on between you two?" she asked, and Olivia turned to her mother, horrified.

"Nothing is going on. Anders is my friend," she replied a little too quickly. Leandra quirked an eyebrow at her daughter, and Olivia shook her head, giving up. She could never hide such things from her mother before, so there was no use in hiding it now. "I… care for him," she said, sadly, not willing to admit just how much she cared. She remembered her dream, how he’d said he loved her and how happy it made her to hear those words leave his mouth. But she hadn’t really heard them. It had just been a dream, not reality. "Nothing will ever come of it," she added.

"Why not? I’ve seen the way he looks at you," Leandra said, and she huffed.

"It doesn’t mean anything. He doesn’t care for me, not like that." Olivia frowned. "I don’t know. He says he doesn’t"

"Then the boy is lying."

She cracked a smile and shook her head. “It’s complicated, all right?”

"Falling in love with an apostate always is," her mother said with a wistful smile. Leandra wrapped her arm around Olivia’s shoulders, and she leaned into her mother’s side. "I’ll tell you one thing, darling. He’s missing out on a wonderful woman."

Olivia smiled at her mother, feeling less horrible than she did before. “Thanks, Mother.”

"You’re welcome, dear."


End file.
